It's...Moi

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Dear God,

I looooooooove Music soooooo much; after I started purging thoughts for this blog I found this song and deemed it The soundtrack for this blog. This blog is just for Me. I look forward to coming back to this one and being like: Whew! I'm glad I've moved from There! Play the song, read and do what you will with it.

My motivation is debilitated…smothered by Dreams…suffocated by Despair. It’s as though I’m scared to get in touch with myself…fear of being beaten down even more if I dig deeper so I stay away from Me. I’m well aware of my innate trait to treat those I’ve known as strangers, but I’ve taken it too far and have become unfamiliar to myself. I desire to be so much more than what I am now, but the chaos and calamity that envelops me is like the weight of many bricks and the load is getting harder by the day to carry. Lately I often wonder if I should just throw the towel in, buckle at the knees, and give in to my Failures that are wrestling with my potential to Succeed. I wish that only for a second I could turn my thoughts off…only for two seconds I could have the option to be irresponsible…only for three seconds I could be away from it All. The indignity of the pace of my success runs rampant in my mind causing me to wonder if all my aspirations are just merely unsound reveries to keep Me content for only a moment. Lately I’m in constant battle with The stranger inside that seems to have taken reign over my mind and allows me to think that my visions are impossible.

Feeling so torn because The Creditors do not care how the debts are satisfied, but God does. Totally discombobulated because how long am I to wait for Man’s job offer before I decide to dance with Hell…again?? Father You know my heart…You’ve witnessed my change…You see me on bended knee…You see me waiting on a Word from You…I am grateful because even in the midst of funds being insufficient you are supplying All my needs, but I’m still confused; do I give up these possessions of The world?? I’m struggling to focus on my focus because deep down inside I know my dreams are attainable but my current condition is blurring my vision…I plead to hear a Word from You.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's A Hard Knock Life...for some

I found an interesting (well it is to moi) soundtrack below that goes perfectly with this blog so click and read on. It was to easy to post Jay Z's remake of A Hard Knock Life so I decided to give you something better; it's the 1999 remake of the musical: Annie. I hope yall enjoy this blog; I did!!

I just watched this touching documentary about this astonishing principal that goes the extra mile for his students. The students could no longer attend their former schools due to their behavior and failing grades; his school provided an opportunity for the students to complete two grades in 180 days in order to pass to the tenth grade for the purpose of continuing to higher education. The documentary followed three students into their home lives which greatly contributed factors for their disruptive behavior and low feelings of self-worth. This movie grants another confirmation that I must move forth with my non-profit organization for pre-/teen girls. I definitely believe that the youth are a productive of their environment; many are being presented with inadequate role models thus resulting in them not having the proper guidance and nurturing that is necessary throughout their pubescent years. I tend to lose focus on building my organization because I get preoccupied with the woes of my adult life. I’ve been made to believe there is a “certain” way you should be, a way that I am not, before you try to steer others. I do understand the expression that people do as they see not what their told, but I cannot change my past that often overlaps my discernment when making decisions for my future. I believe that if I can gain the trust of these rebellious, strong-willed, and/or inexperienced girls then I’ll be able to provide adequate lessons, advice and nurturing to detour them from a self-destructive path. I was told that if I help JUST ONE then I’ve done my part!

Robert De’Blois is an inspiration to me on this early Valentine morning; he was faced with an unforeseen upheaval, but has still managed to be a great influencer amongst the youth in Rhode Island.

I posted a link below that elaborates about the independent public school. I just found the link this a.m. and I’m posting it before I have reviewed its entirety but I’m sure there is a link to donate, so if you’re able then support the cause PLEASE. http://www.ucap.org/

Watch the movie now!!!

Click play below to see footage of my two of my Wildflowers at practice clowning with the On Dec Productions crew; they were giving the opportunity by Viva the Diva to be apart of a reality show! I'll keep the idea on huuuuuuuush though lol! I just want to keep them off the streets and involved in things they enjoy doing that could lead to endless possibilities.

On Dec Episode 1 Teaser

Saturday, February 13, 2010

ASK AWAY!!!!!!!!

Ladies: Words of Advice

The video posted above is the soundtrack to this blog...click play then read on!

Ladies, who are still SEARCHing for love: I advise you to STOP; once this advice is embedded then you become the pilot on your flight to everlasting love. I read in a “good book” that a woman of noble character will be FOUND. I’m an advocate for not searching for him because you will get weary from the search and ultimately settle for what SOUNDS good, but THEN when you come down to earth and pull the wool from Your eyes you’ve discovered that once AGAIN you’ve been hoodwinked! Don’t get mad at “him” and don’t seek revenge on relationships. Ladies ask yourself: did I stick to My standards and do I even have a set of solid standards? Think about it for some seconds...It’s so easy to make the other person be the culprit in a failed relationship; but what if you are to blame Lady? Did you put the “freak in the sheets” moves on him too early and now you’re sensitive to his manners and words towards you? I bet those are the same words and manners you decided to accept initially. Did you accept him for who he was only because you THOUGHT you possessed the ability to change him “later”? NOW you see that you cannot change him short of a love spell. Did you allow yourself to be devoted by his words rather than being on your guard due to his actions? Let “his” words play as “tapes” NOW and you’ll discover that he was so vague in expression that you should have never come to the “distinct” decision that he wanted to be with you exclusively. Did you ask for something that you’re truly not ready for yet? To be committed to him resulted in being a responsibility that You were not mature enough to handle. Ladies I can keep the list going but I hope you can conclude from my examples above that it was not “his” fault and that a “relationship” cannot hurt you.

In the midst of “waiting”: Do NOT settle Ladies for you will miss out on the true person that deserves you and all that you have to offer. I am confident in saying: that We must play the game in order to be found, but don’t keep getting played by the game.

If none of this applies to you Lady then I apologize on behalf of your significant other; true indeed we will come across people that will not disclose themselves fully allowing us to succumb to an illusion of Love. Pray up, dust your shoulders off and stay open to being in a fulfilling relationship, but be slow to act and quick to observe.

*skips off to follow own advice*

~Ciao

Monday, February 1, 2010

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I'm w/ @whoisejones ..Valentine's Day has been CANCELLED;but4those tht feel otherwise LOL http://refineddesigner.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/valentines_day.jpg

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