Sunday, December 27, 2009

New Tradition

Sitting here…cooling…these past few days have been memorable and will resonate always because a new “tradition” has been set forth…history repeats itself again. The season of Christmas had always been my mother’s favorite time of the year; I remember times when we would have unexpected visitors on the day of but even they would have a gift under the tree to unwrap when it came time for my family to open gifts. I have been touched emotionally by my daughter because it seems as though my mother’s joy of Christmas was “passed” to her ; leading to 12/25 she was around the house singing/humming songs of the season and I promise she is The reason that any piece of Christmas decoration adorned our home. It was a struggle to muster up the energy to partake in these seasonal activities but to see the Spirit of Joy in her after experiencing great loss this year elevated me to do better. History will forever repeat because I’ll strive to recreate that feeling of happiness for my daughter that my mother gifted to me a plethora of years. I am grateful for those happy Christmases NOW because while decorating my door I had a stream of sudden thoughts: WOW was my mother this torn on the inside (or probably feeling worse) while she smiled and sang so vibrantly Silent Night and Rocking Around The Christmas Tree???? Was her mind boggled with the thoughts that consume EVERY responsible mother‘s mind that is solely taking care of “home”??? I am no longer Daughter. I am Mother…the one that fronts for her “city”…the one that gifts happiness in the midst of inner conflict…written in remembrance of Mommy~

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